this month many worse matter happaned for example, my assignment always not improve still in a same standard,all my classmate improving their skill and knowledge day by day, but for me i still not done good enough. I felt not comfortable when i face infront of my mother because before that i promised my mum said i will not disapointed for her. When my mum came from the work i feel sorry for her, what can i do now? My direction not clear at all, my exam for this semester 4 is start from 1st of september. Moreover my internship also start in the same date. Haiz...difficult can get a good result in the examination. I haven prepare enough to take this examination, i lost my confident and direction during normal class.
In the same time i feel i also lost contact with my secondary school fren and my relationship between old fren and new fren at a diminishing. The second matter problem face to me right now is my BF. He also not good at all in this year and the last year. THis year he have trouble of his car accident, money, relationship between him and parent and family member. I wan try to calme down him but i not able to help hime solve the problem. SO i feel very apologize for him. Sorry dear made u more trouble on ur 'head' and ur Mind.
As i know the rate of death in the past year on this month also happened some terrible thing. Ofcourse i dunno wheather is some kind of thing made it or just we extra feeling? we are dunno.
My fren BEE WANN birthday on 23/8/2010, how can i celebrate with her? i dunno, that day is 14/7/2010 so i scare. Maybe i done A bad thing for others so the feeling always worse...sometime they celebrate with others also no invite me in the time i really feel not happy and more lonely than normal day. is me attitude problem or not gain the heart of fren that why i will feel alone when i stay in the house during a specific time for celebrate some time. Maybe is true my attitude problem become the fren avoid from me. i wan leave from here, i really cannot stay without any excited life. I still remember the last year no people with my fren remember my birth...who are invite me to watc movie is it just because the timing problem. Without any wish and present from my fren it is mean i lost my fren and my life start become dark..
Dear i really miss u ,but when i meet u i will arguing with u, i'm not qualification become ur girl fren and i also no suitable for u. Even i have a certificate but i dunno become a right human. Alternative btw right and wrong infront of me i still dunno how to choose...Is me think a lot or i just get stuborn a while? today u write something in the wall make me feel i not enough take care for u. Can i leave u without inform u? can i just make a selfish decision? hurt someone i also not feel better than u, the brave to hurt someone is difficult, hurt ur beloved is more hurt then u...i willing do anything u want, but i also have a greater protection surrounding me. I cannot reach the goal i set before, i give up!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment